Creative Non-Fiction

I woke up this morning wanting love for breakfast.

I wanted to roll over into an embrace. I wanted him to look at me as though I could never be replaced.

I wanted to spread my legs and be feed.

I felt lust; but I wanted real love today.

I missed the intense scent of a man. I gripped my legs shut as hard as I could stand. I miss my lips being kissed and my face being caressed. I need my body to excrete its sensual excess.

If this is a spiritual test, then I won’t pass the celibacy class. I would rather be without food, than to be love starved. I’d rather die than fast.

My bedroom, it’s too hot in here. The temperature makes my ‘heart beat fast. My pressure rises, in anticipation of relief. I’m deep breathing, clutching my breast for release.

My sensations have no climax, no context so they morph into of stress. I suffer from pure frustration. It’s causing my faith to hide and my circulation of lust to thrive.

No simple thrust would allow me to survive. I need real love in order to feel alive.

I am married, married to want.

Want rejecting me every time. It’s like all I’m entitled to have is a home, and financial security. I feel forced to roam the streets and find somebody to satisfy my sexual truancy.

I love myself and I won’t allow myself to be nasty and used. Still, the love that I miss fills me with self loathing, I’m confused.

Sex with someone unknown can be exhilarating.It’s you knowing that can be morally suffocating.

Still I can’t masturbate because an orgasm is not all that’s wanted. “Playing in your ass! Nasty girl,” I believed those voices, I’m taunted.

Never will I forget the undetected abuse experienced as a child. “Has somebody’s been messing with that baby girl?” “No.” Beguiled, she would smile.

Now I answer “yes.” My cousins are no longer protected.

I’m still haunted by those childhood memories. It’s no wonder why my sexuality is so affected.

My soul hates me for being so neglected.

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About Stone Love

Comments

  1. Hello Stone, what an exceptional piece you have here. I felt your experiences deep within my soul. You have been down a road that I have traveled and that road is well-worn. I feel your pain and I am right there with you. Keep the writing up girl for when you capture the mind of the reader, you have truly reached stardom…Love & Light, Beauty & Delight…

  2. Whew! That was a delight to read!

  3. I love it, good write !

  4. Stone,

    Thank you for being so transparent and allowing yourself to be soooo vulnerable. That was BRAVE. Wow. Admittedly, reading some of it made me blush as I didn’t know what to expect — yet I applaud you am I honored that you are so willing to share your pain with the world. May we be healed and become empowered by it!

    God Bless you through the process!

    -Mika

  5. Marcia Martinez says:

    I’m a fan!

  6. This is so deep. I love it.

  7. I just love this!

  8. Eloquent truisms! This is an excellent Blog, I will be back for more insight & wisdom!

  9. etherialstone says:

    Thank all of you for your support. I know that I am the voice of so many of us who have been silent. I will continue to speak my truth and yours. Thank you to those of you who were willing to give me that confirmation. I have had over 10 years of therapy for abuse, so I write and share with you from a healed & surveying space. When you began to speak your wings begin to rise, and your heart fly’s. All the wisdom you have complimented me on is the voice of a healed heart. That would be the Stone you have come to know. My first book is powerful illustration of a women who has been under water, ridden the wave, walk through the sand, then drove away in her Mercedes Benz~

  10. Kymberlee T says:

    Stone, wow…I would have never known that you had endured so much and had made such a powerful and uplifting journey by yourself in facing these issues. However, to know you is to know that your name signifies something quite meaningful and empowering that is a true testament to what strength has always been inside of you! I celebrate you and wish you continued success in your spirit and life and plan on witnessing more from you! With enourmous love sister!

    Kymberlee

  11. Lisa R. Williams says:

    HELLO STONE…THANKS FOR THE INVITE…YOU WILL BE JUST FINE!

  12. Stone, very powerful. Release, in all its forms, is healing.

  13. ~Excellent & Amazing …………Good Thoughts, strength & Inspirational Energy!!

  14. Philippe Buyse says:

    Love it. Hope you will continue writing.

  15. Chief James says:

    Hey Stone, you got my attention, please don’t stop

  16. etherialstone says:

    Author Comment In Response To
    Author Comment In Response To
    Kato
    tmottgogo.com
    kato@tmottgogo.com
    69.244.89.44
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 1:23am
    I can dig it!

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Meleisa
    na
    molly.betts@yahoo.com
    68.241.242.97
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 1:17am
    This is so deep. I love it.

    6 #
    D. Dexter Vizinau
    devizent@aol.com
    75.208.96.158
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 1:12am
    This is the beginning of a long journey for you. Faith will get you up to the task.

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Marcia Martinez
    shiniesideup@aol.com
    69.62.146.124
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:42am
    I’m a fan!

    6 #
    Chaeya
    chaeya.com
    chaeya@yahoo.com
    64.168.126.3
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:25am
    I’m here for you. Writing is hard work. I just posted my excerpt from my upcoming book last night. Keep at it and don’t give up.

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Mika Young
    mikameek1@aol.com
    76.88.228.52
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:20am
    Stone,

    Thank you for being so transparent and allowing yourself to be soooo vulnerable. That was BRAVE. Wow. Admittedly, reading some of it made me blush as I didn’t know what to expect — yet I applaud you am I honored that you are so willing to share your pain with the world. May we be healed and become empowered by it!

    God Bless you through the process!

    -Mika

    6 #
    Manuella
    westindiesprincess@msn.com
    80.243.255.209
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:19am
    I love it, good write !

    6 #
    D’ Bass
    dbass.fender@att.net
    99.31.167.37
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:16am
    You’re insight into so many aspects of life has been food for my soul and my mind. Thank you so much for your contribution to love and friendship.

    D’ Bass

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Robert A. Bryant Sr.
    Hard2ReachOne@aol.com
    65.249.61.66
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:14am
    Hello Stone,

    Thank you, for allowing me to read your beautiful written word. Everything that I have had the privliege to read thus far, has truly moved my inner soul. Keep doing you, and continue touching your readers. P.S.: My wife has become a fan of your work as well. Take care!

    Respectfully,

    Robert A. Bryant Sr.

    Hello world!
    7 #
    M. GERMAINE BROWN
    iaintmadatcha1121@hotmail.com
    98.248.158.8
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:03am
    DAMN !!!

    that was a rollercoaster I didn’t want to get off of and then suddenly, I was longing for the ride to stop.

    As a writer, you are militant. Your openess is appreciated. Much more sensual than sexual, and yet much more personal than provocative. I will encourage the ride, as well as the seatbelt.

    ya brotha loved it ~

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Arelettia Jones
    ajconsultinginc.com
    ajletha@yahoo.com
    98.98.221.70
    Submitted on 2009/09/04 at 12:01am
    Hi Stone my Dear,
    You posting was fantastic. It really hit home. Keep up the inspired writing!!!

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Laurita Ploughman
    ritaploughman@yahoo.com
    ritaploughman@yahoo.com
    75.176.66.53
    Submitted on 2009/09/03 at 11:49pm
    I absolutely love this passage. The flow is gorgeous and the feelings are real. I feel them. I relate. I’ve never had it said in such a way like this. Congratulations to the writer because I feel my soul is shared with her!

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Woody Bavota
    power-of-purpose.blogspot.com/
    woody@woodybavota.com
    75.69.161.230
    Submitted on 2009/09/03 at 11:38pm
    Hi Stone…Best of luck with your phenomenal writings….Best, Woody

    Hello world!
    7 #
    Lagina
    facebook.com/lagina.living
    lenise1973@yahoo.com
    76.17.25.222
    Submitted on 2009/09/03 at 11:37pm
    Whew! That was a delight to read!

    6 #
    Cheryl Batoon
    inspire.ology.com
    mena2u46@yahoo.com
    76.103.193.82
    Submitted on 2009/09/03 at 11:31pm
    Hello Stone, what an exceptional piece you have here. I felt your experiences deep within my soul. You have been down a road that I have traveled and that road is well-worn. I feel your pain and I am right there with you. Keep the writing up girl for when you capture the mind of the reader, you have truly reached stardom…Love & Light, Beauty & Delight…

  17. 3233cerullo says:
  18. jeffrey1959 says:

    Stone,

    Great writing. I was really touched by the journey you have taken.

  19. Nice…feels like I’m being personally spoken to. Makes one feel like their in the middle of this situation.

  20. Hey Stone,
    Wow, that was deep! You write beautifully!!!
    kgreentcp@yahoo.com

  21. wow.
    now, you know what just happened to Van Jones! you’re material is too real to run for political office in the future!

    thank you, Stone for sharing yourself.

  22. Kevin Smith says:

    I really enjoy you writing. You clearly write with purpose and style. Your style of writing is very descriptive; painting a vivid picture for the reader like an artist painting a picture. The reader can tell your writing comes from your heart, and your emotions that you are very much in tune with. Your life experiences are illustrated in your writing, and you have been blessed with the ability to express your experience in such a beautiful manner. We know others who have had similar life experiences but there are few who have the motivation or the artistic ability to express them the unique way you do.

    I’m happy for you in your endeavors to to be a writer. Remember, your accomplishment on this path is unique because so many people are watching you on your path to success. For some of those people you will obviously become a role model, and a consultant to show others how to become successful. I know you will do great to accomplish your goals and will unselfishly be of service to others to help them in this arena also. We also know as you bless others God will bess you.

  23. Kevin Smith says:

    I really enjoy you writing. You clearly write with purpose and style. Your style of writing is very descriptive; painting a vivid picture for the reader like an artist painting a picture. The reader can tell your writing comes from your heart, and your emotions that you are very much in tune with. Your life experiences are illustrated in your writing, and you have been blessed with the ability to express your experience in such a beautiful manner. We know others who have had similar life experiences but there are few who have the motivation or the artistic ability to express them the unique way you do.

    I’m happy for you in your endeavors to to be a writer. Remember, your accomplishment on this path is unique because so many people are watching you on your path to success. For some of those people you will obviously become a role model, and a consultant to show others how to become successful. I know you will do great to accomplish your goals and will unselfishly be of service to others to help them in this arena also. We also know as you bless others God will bless you.

  24. Hi Stone;
    Thanks for sharing such a healing space. I know your journey has been difficult but know you are free and helping others thru the pain.
    I look for more of your expressions of Peace.
    Love Ya!

  25. Very Nice, Stone. Keep up the great work and thanks so very much for sharing this with me and everyone.

  26. your souls truly loves you its the possibllities of great love that fools the soul. great piece. more please and think about an interview with me

  27. Thank you ,Stone,for sharing this awesome note.You are amazing.I could not stop reading word by word and didn’t want to miss anything.I feel that you have so much to share. I would love to read more and more from you.You have created an instant connection with me,because you are so honest and I really value and appreciate that.
    Love and Light

  28. Thanks Stone, this was a very powerful piece of literature. I am looking forward to your next post, thank you for sharing and painting such a vivid picture with this masterpiece.

    Until pen and paper meet again…Ciao

    Chef Kahlil Wyche

  29. Gina Corcuchia says:

    Wow. This is was honest and very touching. It takes a lot of courage to be so honest. I had to scroll to the top after reading, to see whether you classified this as fiction or non. I waned to know if you wanted the public to know this was your truth – or if you wanted them to think it was the truth of someone else. As your daughter its very painful to know my mom has all this inside. As a reader its touching that you would be bold enough and strong enough to expose yourself like this. This piece is truly something that shows great talent. You took your feelings and allowed us not only to feel them as you do, but want to know what else you are feeling…

    • etherialstone says:

      Oh my, my love. Yes my darling daughter I am just a woman. I love you and your words. My tears are flowing and I will speak to you in person. I love you. Your Mom~

  30. I certanly enjoyed reading your writing, profound!

  31. Benny Ransom says:

    Stone, Your work is full of raw, intense emotion. I absolutely love it!!Your passion in your writiing is unapologetic and bold, as it should be. I am 100 percent confident that your work has helped some poor, tortured soul deal with something they have been hiding and ashamed of for years. Brava, sister, brava!

  32. whew… Love that you have given your emotions over for sharing. This is written well and from the heart. The visual of this is profound, you have stirred my senses..:)
    Your new fan,
    Bonnie

  33. Whew!! Thank you for sharing your emotional depth…. profound. Written well and from the heart. The visual has stirred my senses, what an inspiration you have given.
    Your new fan,
    Bonnie

  34. …Well Done…

  35. sankhyadhar says:

    Great writing.I just could not stop till I completed.You are awesome.Keep it up

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