The Answers are Inside of Me

I sat in the same place on the edge of my bed. My arm dangling from the socket made the pain worst in my head.
I didn’t disappear in my mind this time, I tried to run away.

Again I had been mistreated. I felt so defeated.

Like a big strong friend, the pain in my heart gave me clarity and courage to never let this happen again.

I wanted to fulfill this vow, I just didn’t know how.

Too many scary demons restrained and guarded my new found strength. The fortress to my truth would open more lies at length.

I had to continually fix it. My efforts to shut it down deep inside turned darkness into dim light. Protecting the perpetrator blinded me of my own sight. It was hard for me to see it. My tolerance had grown so, I was trained not to feel it. I taught myself to ignore abuse and deceit. I wasn’t sure if I was creating it or just allowing it my God given senses became of no use.

I’m thankful that transformational abusive person has long gone from my life. No trifling predators cutting me like a knife. Has my body’s memory recreated new wounds from those old scares in my life?

I know I’m a creature of habit, but is it possible that I’ve unconsciously created new scares from the old wounds?

Are there behavioral parallels today, patterns in my thinking that represent my fear based problem solving and coping mechanism that were present in me as a child?

I wonder has time alone taught me to recognize, address and heal the pain I learned to claim?

Could my shame be promoting the same?

Should I look closely at my relationships choices with the men and women I love, befriend or embrace because they are my kin?

Am I willing to see the clues in my life that bring me back to the familiar feelings of disgust and lack of protection?

Must I go back to that childhood pain I securely stuffed away? Are my current relationships revolving, never fulfilling or leaving me feeling used?

Am I compensating by self loathing, stealing, manipulating or promiscuity?

That feeling in your gut should be telling you to explore the hidden pain that won’t allow you to openly thrive today.

Are you ready to begin? Are ready to go to the deep end? Are you ready to feel accomplished from within?
Stoneologys has 7 steps to help you to reveal your self-loving core you’ll never again be able to ignore.

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