Posting for my Stoneologys Community a conversation that started on my high school Facebook page.
We were reminiscing about high school days and I asked,
“Did we have affairs with the teachers as the kids are doing today?”
The answers were a resounding, “Yes indeed!”
Of course this is not a new phenomenon. An affairs that led to marriage happened and affairs continued between the students and the teachers were going on at the high school.
The sad revelation was that one teacher favored by most has since lost his teaching credentials for being a pedophile. I letf this comment on the page. I wanted to share these words with you as well.
This is my response and advice to my high school Facebook group.
“The life long effects to a child that has been sexual abused, are not always apparent when the child becomes an adult. Still they are present. Those demons continue to permeate every aspect of our lives and relationship to the world.
We carry mistrust, guilt and shame. The abuse continues because we haven’t dealt with it in a healthy, healing and empowering way.
Dealing with can be as simple as speaking on it. Tell someone.
Tell it, even now at 50.
It’s therapeutic and healing when you speak up for yourself.
Something magical happens when you say, “You hurt me and I didn’t deserve that.”
Saying those words can gives the power and permission back to YOU. The permission to set healthy boundaries concerning you without apology.
You’re now protected from the self inflected residual self abuse you may not realize you were continuing. You continue it by keeping the secret.
You can reclaim trust in people and recognize manipulation for what it is and who is really doing it. You discernment is strengthened and your resentment for self is lessened.
You have now declared self value for the first time since it was taken away. Since we didn’t speak up for ourselves as children, we’ve trained ourselves not to trust. We’re prone to manipulation, so the abuse continues in different forms.
At work, at play, we subconsciously give our power away.
It affects us as mothers, fathers, spouses, friends, employees, CEO’s you name it, the affects are present.
This is true whether the adult who suffered sexual abuse as a child realizes it or not. It hard to see the patterns that have permeated your life unless you know what to look for. Being molested, assaulted, preyed upon, taken advantage of is what causes dysfunctional adulthood.
Our world has been tainted and forever colored by the abuse. Our perspectives determine the success of ALL relationships. It time to laser focus on the causes of certain patterns in our lives. We can then adjust them to yield the result we want and deserve in our lives.